Premarital Counseling

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Some Options You Should Consider with Regards to Premarital Counseling

Statistics teach us that over half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce. Those are pretty scary odds when you think about it. Often when we are feeling the glow from all the wedding plans, we don't think much about the future because we are so wrapped up in the present and making sure everything is perfect for our special day. While this is important, it is also important to make sure that you and your beloved are on the same page. There is nothing more frightening than to be on your honeymoon and have your new spouse begin telling you how he/she feels about certain things, and discovering that you feel completely the opposite!

Here's an example, let's say that you thought you'd made it clear you didn't want to begin having children for five years while you work towards getting your career where you want it. Suddenly your spouse starts talking about having a baby right away. I'll bet you're thinking "Whoa!" about now, huh? Another example would be where you as the wife want to stay at home and raise your children, but your husband thinks you should continue to work. Maybe you talked about it before, maybe you didn't, either way this is the sort of thing that can quickly turn a marriage into a battlefield if you both haven't been communicating your thoughts and feelings clearly, and just assuming that your beloved knew them.

Premarital counseling can help you get all these topics out in the open and clearly defined before you get married. Believe me, it is far better to discuss them now than to wait for something to hit the fan on your honeymoon or even a year later. Unfortunately, the odds are against at least half of all marriages surviving, so you want to do everything you can to ensure that your marriage doesn't become just another statistic. Premarital counseling will also give you the tools to handle whatever may come your way.

While there are many options for counselors, in fact many couples who are being married in a church, mosque or synagogue probably have access to people who provide premarital counseling. So, if you can easily access such services then by all means do so, it is well worth it, even if it is an extra expense. However, what if you don't plan on being married in a church, synagogue or mosque, then what? There are plenty of secular counselors to go around that specialize in marital and premarital counseling. So, whether you've opted to get married in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas, or your local courthouse, you still have options when it comes to finding a counselor that can provide you with premarital counseling.

Just like with everything else, you should set aside money in your budget for premarital counseling. Like all your wedding vendors a counselor is most likely not going to be free. Also, like with all your other vendors you should interview several counselors until you find one that both you and your beloved are comfortable with. If you and your beloved are not religious then you will want to be sure that you don't wind up with a counselor who sees it as her or her duty to "convert" you for example. This could be very uncomfortable for both you and your beloved. On the other hand if you are religious and looking for a counselor that has beliefs similar to yours, and for whatever reason you don't want to use your own minister, rabbi or whomever, then again this makes the interview all important. Finding yourself saddled with a secular counselor could be just as uncomfortable in this case.

Once you find a counselor you are comfortable with he/she will be able to help you and your beloved get those things out in the open that need to be out in the open before you get married. He/she can also teach you techniques for handling difficult situations when they do come up that will help to ensure that your marriage has a better chance of lasting for your lifetime, rather than just a year or two.

It's amazing how so many couples are willing to invest so much money into a wedding, but when you mention counseling, they often aren't willing to spend much if anything. Do yourself a favor, don't wind up as another statistic, instead invest in some premarital counseling, even if only one session. Years from now you will be happy that you did!

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